Lily.

My beloved baby broke my heart and turned a year old.  A whole year old.   I made her a slide show with the song that inspired her name – Lily. To me, this song is about a mother mourning the loss of her baby as she grows up (could also be from the perspective of somebody who has lost a child, but I prefer my interpretation for obvious reasons). 

We had a nice party – family and friends came, we ate cake, and Cami and Bryn staged a delightful photoshoot. 

As per birthday tradition, I wrote a letter.

My dearest, sweetest, funniest little Lily Love,

You have been with us for one year. One giant year, but also such a small, fast blink of a year. How did we ever live without you making us laugh so many times a day? We love you - in case there is any doubt - you are loved, loved, loved, loved, loved.

You have never cared much for sleeping by yourself, so you sleep snuggled with me every night. When you wake up in the morning you crawl over, pounce on my belly or neck or face, and start giggling. You are such a happy little girl.

You are courageous - you want to try every activity, go everywhere, taste everything. You love grapes and cheese and yogurt.

On June 30, 2013 you took your first steps at a birthday party for your cousin Mary Kate.  Soon you were walking, then walking backwards, pivoting, running, and running with objects. You love to gather up several toys and go running across the floor shrieking with joy.  Oh my, you love shrieking. You sound like a baby bird or pterodactyl. You fall constantly. Usually you just look annoyed before getting up and carrying on with your adventures.  We call you "Honey Badger" because you hardly ever get hurt or cry.

You love your older sister Amelia so much. You follow her everywhere, demand to try anything she's eating, and attempt to be part of her every movement. She loves you, too. If she ever wakes up and you're not around, she bursts into tears and cries, "Mommy, where's my sister?" You are already best friends. You play dolls, and "pets" (Amelia ties a rope to one of you, and the other holds the other end like a leash), and you play doctor quite often. Amelia's number one complaint is that you won't hold still very well while she's giving you shots and taking your blood pressure and such. BECAUSE YOU NEVER HOLD STILL! You are constantly running, crawling, rolling, or climbing.

You love books so much. About twenty times a day, you bring me or Daddy a book and say, "Read a book!" Your favorite books are Goodnight Gorilla and Goodnight Moon, but you like any books with animals. Especially dogs.

Your first word, in fact, was "doggie."  We go walking every evening, and often stop at a playground near a dog park.  You dissolve into uncontainable giggles and shrieks when you see the doggies.  Once, a woman let you pet her black Labrador retriever. You were content to pet it for a few minutes, but then you threw your whole body onto the dog and gave her a full-body hug as you patted her back.  It made me so sad we don't have a doggie for you. But you have plenty of stuffed animals and dollies.  And you call them all "doggie."

You can say quite a few things now:

- Doggie
- Mama
- Daddy
- Read a book
- Thank you
- Give me the ball
- my ball!

This is not surprising - you have not stopped babbling since the second you were born. On and on and on, you chatter the days away. I love the sound of your babbling, your laughing, and your giggling. You are even noisy when you go to sleep. You make a funny humming noise and stick your chin out. So adorable. You love songs and often "sing" along with songs (it is hilarious and sweet at the same time). You are remarkably good at banging your toy drum in rhythm with songs or chants. We are sure you have lots of music in your future. You love dancing, and your favorite dancing song is "All the Single Ladies" by Beyonce. You bounce up and down, shake your head back and forth, clap your hands, and stop along to the beat. So, so cute.

You have the funniest laugh ever. When you were in daycare, you would often start cackle-laughing, and the other babies would join in with the cackling. The women who took care of you while Daddy and I were at work absolutely loved you and said you were the class clown that made everybody laugh.

You love being outside - you often go to the door and pound on it for me to let you out. Once outside, you run around like a crazy child, inspecting every rock and flower and leaf and bug. You love nature, and it's a good thing, because you and I are going on a week-long backpacking trip in a few days! I am so excited to be able to spend so much time with you right by my side (or on my belly as the case will be when we're hiking with you in the Bjorn).

You are the most determined little creature I have ever met. Once you have set your mind to something, you do not give up. Daddy once watched you try to put on one of Amelia's shoes for a solid hour. Finally we gave you some of my shoes - you got them right on, and my goodness were you pleased with yourself!

Lily, you make our family so happy. You are beautiful and lovely and sweet and funny and delightful. We love you so much and are so glad you are here. At Mary Kate's birthday party, you suddenly started chasing her golden-doodle Winnie across the floor. I kept saying, "Where are you going, Lily? .. Lily, where are you going?" Finally, you paused, turned around, shot me an exasperated look, and shouted, "DOGGIE!" before crawling furiously after the object of your desire. It gave me a glimpse into your future, you tenacious, silly, crazy, busy, dizzy baby.

I love you,

Mommy.