One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
~ Virginia Woolf
Because I've had a bit of a stomach bug of late, I have been subsisting on applesauce, jello, and rice. Now, I don’t have anything against these food groups, but it’s not like I enjoy eating them… it’s merely about survival (think Donner party). I don’t like food anymore – I hate it, really, and have been yearning for the days when I can say, “That too has passed,” or even, “that was a great character-building experience. So grateful for all that my-buddy-the-toilet-and-me bonding time.”And today, I had a glimmer of hope. As I was planning a luncheon for a special speaker (my readership, especially Karen, will be super delighted to know that Adolfo Garcia-Sastre, who characterized the 1918 influenza virus and who has made many contributions to the field of negative-stranded viruses is the guest) coming Monday, I saw a picture of a pastry at a local bakery. And I wanted it. Wanted it.
Having forgotten how unbelievably glorious it is to desire food, I put on my jacket and raced to the bakery in question, paid $2.75 for a hand-made granola bar, and sat down. Ignoring dirty looks from groups of chatty medical students who clearly thought I didn’t need my very own table, I took a bite of the crusty, seedy, nutty, sugary, apricoty bar, and…. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it – do you understand? I ate something just because I wanted it and it was (forgive the cliché) heavenly. I know it probably won’t last, but it – that beloved granola bar – has given me renewed hope that I have not forever lost my ability to participate in one of my very favorite pastimes. I sat and chewed and savored, and sat and chewed some more in a very present, zen-like manner, and - no lie - I shed real tears because of the exhilarating sensation of something tasting... umm... tasty.
We'll see if it stays down.
8 comments:
All right. Does Adolfo Garcia-Sastre know anything about, say, the filo-virus genre? Because I really think she could benefit from meeting me. Also, congratulations on eating a delicious granola bar. Truly, it is an accomplishment.
Karen, Adolfo is a guy, but yes, he knows a lot about the filovirus "genre." I am looking forward to telling him that my sister had one (if not all) of them.
I lost my will to eat for a few days/weeks after giving birth to Ivy, and I remember the watching the Phantom Gourmet one Sunday morning (all the other channels were showing exercise machine informercials) and realizing that I was salivating over the food they were showcasing. It was momentous and joyous, and was the beginning of the end of my post partum weight loss. But I do heart the food groups so much. I'm so glad you were able to enjoy that granola bar.
Wow I want a piece of that Granola Bar!
Kudos to you! (No pun intended - ok, pun intended.) Let's hope this is the beginning to a beautiful relationship with your food again!
Ah! Le retour de Laura! I am so thrilled to open your blog and see a new post! Yes!
I'm so sorry about the incessant tummy troubles, but very glad you got to eat something yummy that you wanted to eat! I hope it stayed down. Let me know if you need anything other than your standard rice, applesauce, and jello. I make a mean curried apple soup (!)
I remember feeling like that. There a large part of me that hopes I never feel that way again. I like eating food.
My question is: Did it stay down?
That sounds soooooo good right now! I will give you some for a present sometime... if it can make it past me first!
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