One of the less obvious things about me is that I've yet to produce offspring. I very much want children, so I've come to the conclusion that I must steal somebody else's child. Shiloh Pitt Jolie is the obvious choice, but I feel like she isn't very accessible on a limited income. Also I'm told she has bodyguards.
So I've decided to steal Mike and Sherene's baby, Kai'ava. She's gorgeous (see below) (or above - I'm never sure how these things will turn out) and as pleasant as a snowy winter morning. Except when I hold her. Despite my bright smiles, Mike's generous use of the phrase "Aunt Laura," and Sherene's insistence that she will go to "anyone," the second Kai'ava is transferred to my arms, her eyes fill with terror. Her bottom lip trembles, and her cries transition from whimper to wail as she looks at her parents as though they are the biggest traitors since Judas.
Nevertheless, I am determined to kidnap her someday. Any ideas on how to pull off such a feat? Don't worry, I already told Mike and Sherene about my intentions, so it's cool.
7 comments:
Hey, you have to take my kids first. It would be like eating your dessert before brussel sprouts and liver.
Wow. Both my sisters have serious problems...
Wait, which one is brussel sprouts and which one is liver?
Okaaaay. . .she is a cute little girl though!
Maybe she cries because she knows you want to steal her...
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