Snot Baby

I have called an end to my how-fast-can-you-type obsession, so now I'm hosting a friendly contest. See how long you can look at this picture before looking away:
I am giving an RSV presentation in a couple weeks, and I'm going to display this for the audience during the proceeding question and answer period (in hopes that it will shorten the torture).

94 words

Touch Typing online

The sad truth about this is that I have tried this about 30 times. If you try it enough times, you get a larger proportion of three-letter words.

Look Wendell, I'm part of the cabal and stuff.

In principle, I am an agrarian who truly believes – has a proverbial testimony of – the benefits of cultivating the soil. I’m a huge proponent of sustainable agriculture, healthy communities, tangible connection to place and family, the pleasures and health of good food, self-sufficiency, and the harmony that comes from working with your hands and direct contact with nature. Think Old Yeller.

In reality, I am an urban-dwelling sham who drinks bottled water, buys produce from Costco, and inhales 4.67 trillion times the USDA-recommended daily value of carcinogens on my way to work. My house is on a ridiculously small lot, and planting tomatoes or rosemary is prohibited as per the tenets of my lease. These living conditions are extremely traumatizing for me at times.

So this fall a friend (read: somebody whom I had heard of once or twice) invited me (read: the entire ward) to go apple picking at a local (read: an hour away) orchard in Harvard, MA. I awoke at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday so that I could support local farmers and delude myself into thinking that I was part of an important process. I have to admit that even though I had nothing to do with the selection, planting, tending, pruning, staking, watering, fertilization, or nurturing of the apple trees, I took great pleasure in picking and eating the fruits of somebody else’s labor. The area was really beautiful, and the crisp air brought a little life back into my free-radical-laden heart.

Notice that I am holding three half-eaten apples. This behaviour was allowed and even encouraged by the orchard owners.
The cashier was a cute old man wearing this pumpkin hat. When he saw my orange jacket, he got really excited and insited I try on his hat.

Snow day

We were busy having so much fun with Darin and Kim Inc. in Philadelphia this weekend that we didn't bother to listen to, watch, read about, or even google-text the weather. As we drove up the coast, the rain took on increasing amounts of snow-like qualities, and when we arrived in Hartford at 2:00 a.m., we were in the midst of a full-scale blizzard. We awoke the next morning to a foot of snow on the ground and rumors that most schools in New England had been canceled for the day. I was conflicted as to whether I should drive home.

On the one hand, I grew up in Utah and am certainly not afraid to drive in the snow. On the other hand, I have witnessed Boston's shocking lack of snow-handling skills and did not want to deal with six-hours-to-drive-one-city-block situations. So of course we decided the best course of action was to go skiing on the local rails-to-trails system.

I really enjoy knocking snow off low-reaching
branches because I like to watch the snow shimmering as it falls, and I also like the way the trees spring upward, relieved of their crystalline burden. I feel guilty for doing this, however, because it deprives others of viewing the fairy-land like branches draped in white. Also, I'm probably depriving the trees of strength-building development or something. Oh well, it usually falls off the next day anyway.

Awesome.

I googled myself and this is who I found: http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=823449838

Nieces extraordinaire

This post is dedicated to two of my four nieces... Sarah and Megan. I recently spent an entire week with them, and I have to say that they are pretty much the bomb.com.

Sarah is eleven years old and very thoughtful. For example, she offered to watch her younger siblings so her mom could get some things done and take a nap. Also, her little brother was sick so she offered to stay home from our fun afternoon at Reading Terminal Market so that he wouldn't be lonely. As you can see, she's very beautiful, but she is kind to everyone, doesn't care one wit about being popular, and is a whiz at math and science. In fact, while I was visiting, she conducted a scientific experiment to see how various excercises affected heart rate. THEN she plotted her results and conclusions on an Excel graph and presented her research to the family.


Megan is eight years old and doesn't hold still for more than three seconds at a time. She loves to be have FUN. She also is really great about helping her mom and dad with the younger siblings. In addition, she is a wicked artist. This year, one of her paintings was purchased by the superintendent and is hanging in his office. Megan has a fantastic sense of humor and loves to tease everybody. She recently informed me that she is one of Chris's secret girlfriends, which spells trouble for me - I can't compete with this kid!

New Year's Intentions (tagged by the lovely Sarah Marie)

Physical

• Drink water. Sound simple? Not for me - especially given the chemical-laden, metallic tasting, non-newtonian fluid that oozes from my kitchen sink... Nevertheless, I vow to drink at least six glasses of the frightening stuff per day.
  
• Eat fruit and vegetables. I'm not going to kid anybody by pretending that I'm going to give up cookies, but I am going to limit their consumption until after I've had the cancer-prevention vittles. 5-7 per day. My philosophy is that it's better to get the good than to eliminate the bad (i.e. I will continue to pour (not drizzle) bleu cheese on my healthful salads).
  
• Walk from home to Harvard or from school to central square EVERY day. It's only a couple miles at the most, but that's a couple miles more than I'm currently walking. Plus it's probably faster than the buses in this city.

Spiritual

• Do yoga 2x per week. If you don't understand how this contributes to spiritual health, you've clearly never given it a real shot.
  
• Read something spiritual 3x per week.
  
• Go to the mountains. Or the river, or anything that resembles wilderness.

Emotional

• Write in my journal 1x per week. Writing is, as Wendell Berry teaches, a media through which our soul and body can connect and come into harmony. Those are not his words.
  
• Call a friend 1x per week. This probably seems simple too, but I am sadly not in the habit of keeping in touch with even some of my best friends (unless they use g-chat).
  
• Practice writing 1x per week. Even if it is just writing about an experience or emotion, or character development for a future piece.
  
• Learn to bake a really dense, nut- and seed-loaded loaf of whole-, multi-grain bread. Dense = could use as a weapon. Yummm....
  
• Learn to make carrot butter (to spread on aformentioned brick of deliciousness).

Intellectual (besides what I already do to meet the requirements of my institute of higher education)

• Read 1 book per month that is not related to microbes, biochemistry, immunology or medicine.
  
• Get a "learn chinese" CD and manual. Do at least 1 lesson per week. (I know it's not much, but I'm trying to be realistic here, folks).

Obviously, these categories are inter-related, and any goal could appropriately fit into any category. But I do enjoy making neatly organized, bulleted lists. Tag: Mom (get a blog already... or use Dickeyfam).